i just dont know anymore

today is a mixed feeling day
i am happy, glad, and excited about Senator Obama becoming President Obama

but today over is a shitty day for me
i tried doing something good
and other people wont comply

its a pretty cold night here in California
rain fell during the night
there is a lot of moisture and cold air in the atmosphere
my sister is at school color guard practice
its going to be cold and i didnt want her to wait too long in the cold
so i leave the comfort of my warm home 10 minutes earlier than i usually do

i arrive at school 5 mins before 9 PM which is the time when practice was suppose to end
i was rushing so i came out wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt
it feels like a freezer
i start to have thoughts like "ahh, this must be how frozen meat feels"

30 mins i wait in this cold
no sign of my sis
finally after 50 mins
she comes out

i asked "Why did you take so long?"
her reply "why are you complaining? i didnt call you to pick me up"

u know what my thought is after those words

wtf
fucking shit
i waited almost an hour in the freezing weather and this is the reply i get
i missed Obama speech for this shit
wow

this not the only time
i have gotten shittier reply from many people
for doing what seems right and helpful

serious
i probably get more positive comment for joining a gang and shooting down random people

they will be like "What you shot down 18 random people and 15 cops! Dude thats fucking awesome, you r a killing machine, you r my new idol."
i will take that comment any day
compare to what i get for doing good

so this incident marks the last days of any good doing my me
i am afraid that next time i do something good
i will get killed

peace
and dont do anything good
its bad for you